Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
