Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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