I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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