No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just high enough for therapy.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
