I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
