is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
