Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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