I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
