i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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