He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
