I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
