AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize