I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
