The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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