I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
