Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize