sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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