You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
