We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
