Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize