Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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