my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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