How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I will pee on everything he values.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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