And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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