I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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