We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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