Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
