Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
