I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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