I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize