ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
