doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We have started to decorate penises.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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