Whatcha textin bout Willis?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I wear drunk well.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
