Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
