I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
