I want to make a zoo with you.
from now on my penis is your penis
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
