I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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