I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm both gender and math confused
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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