I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
