another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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