It's Friday. Sex?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
