It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
