This girl is more easily done than said...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
