I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
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