Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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