New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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