found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
