strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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