P.S. I can't hear my feet
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
