We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
