If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
