the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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