Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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