At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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