what day is it and did you see me today?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
