Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
