sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We had sex on a dog bed..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
