I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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