Just fell off a train. Bad.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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