the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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