You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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