Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
